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I know exactly what it would feel like. He almost did it to me a few years ago, when we thought that we could get pregnant by ordinary means. However, he pulled out at the last second - a decision that made me furious at the time; a decision for which I have chewed him out many times in the intervening years.But - as much as I hate to admit it - it was the right decision at the time.Now, however, he knows that I really do want him to take the decision and that I will gladly live with the results. As long as it's his child, if he wants it for us, if he feels that we could be good parents, if he is willing to make the decision for me, that would be enough for me. I would accept his judgment - after the moment was over.But if it ever happens, in the moment I will be scared out of my mind. I will have all of my fears and apprehensions at the forefront of my thoughts.He would have to rape me.I imagine that it would begin like many of the special nights of passionate lovemaking we've had. ‘Hey, don’t be sad!’ he implored softly as he held her small hand in his own. ‘I won’t be gone long.’ It was a lie and they both knew it, but Eloise said nothing. Their last few hours together were too precious to waste on melancholy thoughts. She wanted to remember this day as something happy, not sad. So she smiled bravely at Ned and was rewarded with a look of relief. Still holding hands tightly, they headed along the path that meandered deeper into the woods. * * * Sweat trickled down between her breasts as they walked slowly though the trees. The further they went, the thicker the undergrowth became. Ned was quiet for once, his face closed and pensive, and she knew that he was thinking about tomorrow. But then so was she. It hung over them like a bleak cloud, an ominous portent of doom. The musical sound of water distracted her from her thoughts and when the path twisted one final time through the trees, they found themselves in a grassy clearing beside a sparkling pool. At the.
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